thank you

I liked the concpet of this, I thought it was hard hitting and something that made me sit and think about how I feel about it. But, the flow didn't work well the with imagery and I thought that it was definately strained and forced in some places.

Also, the structure bothered me; I don't know why.

I know this might not be much help, but I hope it helps in some way.

i really liked your post, i have nothing to add.

I acctually liked the first two stanza i think they help to set up the ending. Your wording seemed kind of shaky in places but i really dont see a need to change it because it adds a shaky reality to the poem.
I guess what i mean by that is the poems story line about how the two dont know each other but they seem to parellel each other is a shaky connection that in the end fails to be at all, so the wording works to bring that out. Make sense? Hopefully if not I'm sorry.
I liked it though thats not helpful but i did i thought it was a nice peice with an overall good theme. nice job

Hmm. I liked it, but there were parts that bothered me. Namely, the entire first two stanzas.

IMHO, these are unnecessary exposition. You could dump them both without really injuring the poem too much, although you might want to incorporate the beginning of the first verse with the third one, just to give it a bit more flow. But really, the other verses just say it all, yknow? I personally think the poem really starts at "we were looking for an exit".

That being said, I do like the turn of phrase "eyes that say maybe/ you've seen it all/maybe it really isnt all/it's cracked up to be" -- you do this throughout the poem and it's very clever.

Overall, a nice piece without those first verses. You might want to work on smoothing out your line breaks a bit, as they're a wee bit choppy, but it's up to you

Cheers,
~bubbles